Over the past 6 months I have been doing some research for a book that I am writing. It's all about bringing a different kind of listening to family life. As a result, I have been witness to some amazing stories unfold as individual parents explore what is on their mind in a Listening Space - a process that involves a combination of repeating key words the other person has used and asking them Clean questions. What follows is the transcript from one such session in which a fa
I’ve recently started running Listening Space courses for parents in which participants are: introduced to models of human behaviour to help them understand their own thoughts and emotions better – such as Steve Peters’ Chimp Paradox experience powerful new ways of listening deeply to themselves and to others using Clean Language questions, and are given tools to help nurture healthy relationships within the family. I interviewed one participant, whose children are 8 and 6 ye
Clean questions can transform the way that you listen. One participant from a recent Listening Space course, Mark, describes how he found himself switching to a very different kind of listening as he used these questions in a conversation with his colleague, Anna. She was telling him about how she was struggling to make a decision about a promotion she had been approached to apply for. Rather than going into his usual ‘fix-it’ mode, Mark decided to just sit back and listen as
I’d like to introduce you to Sophie – a mother of two young children; Ella, who is eight years old, and Sam, who is five. Having found herself getting run down by all the demands of raising a young family, Sophie decided to look for more constructive ways of managing her children’s more challenging behaviour. She came across Clean questions at a parent workshop and found that they had an almost immediate impact for her: Clean questions help me to know how to help my children.
Sophie had been suffering from awful daily headaches and was reluctant to take the strong medication for chronic migraine that her GP had prescribed her. Instead she decided to explore her symptoms by asking herself some Clean questions: What kind of pain was it? Where was the pain? Was there anything else about that pain? Did the pain have a size or a shape? She soon realised that she was embodying her distress at having to keep sending her very reluctant 7-year old daughter